KiKi's LAIR

The year is gradually drawing to a close and soon a new year will come knocking at your door again. It would make sense to prepare for its coming so you won't be caught unawares. If 2017 didn't go well for you, now is the time to count your losses and move on. Don't wait for the new year to do that, it could lower your morale by 80%.  If it went just as you planned, kudos! But remember, there's always more, there's always higher ground to climb and there's always a better wayway to doing things so don't rest on your oars.  The purpose of this article is to prepare you for 2018, so much that the year itself will meet you ready and waiting at the door to welcome it. Firstly, REFOCUS YOUR VISION. This will help you set the proper goals. Sometimes, disappointments can hit you so hard you begin to wonder if your dreams are actually not too big for you. Maybe they are, but then isn't that why its called a 'dream'? And your vision is to mak

I had always heard of Santa Claus and the image I had of Him was a stout fat man dressed in red carrying a sack of gifts and entering through the chimney. Well, since we didn't have any chimney, I always wondered where he'd come in through if he ever visited my house. A day before Christmas when I was quite younger, mom said to get ready, we'd be going to see Santa. In my little mind, the image I had was the one I expected we were going to see. I was so excited, I told everyone who cared to listen, everyone literally, I mean even the mallam on my street that I was going to see Santa. Whether they understood what I was saying or not, I was just too excited to care. Finally morning came, after a long night, longer than usual or not probably cause I was too excited to sleep well. It was actually a Christmas party and other kids were there as well. Eventually, we stood on the line waiting our turn to see Santa. From afar, he looked slimmer than usual, did he lose weight? I w

We are almost that time of the year when we celebrate the birth of our saviour, Jesus Christ. It's usually a season of love and sharing that just seems to bring out the good and loving side of everyone. But one striking fact is that sometimes we get carried away with planning and celebrations that we forget the actual celebrant, the main reason for the season. Everyone of us has a birthday and on that day we get gifts, wishes, calls and text messages from loved ones. That day just seems to be basically about us. When it comes to Christmas, I believe the same should apply. If the celebrant is having his party in church, well, what are you doing at home? If you're exchanging gifts with everyone else, what about the celebrant? Imagine you hosted a birthday party in your house and everyone came with gifts for each other except you, the celebrant...how would you feel? Over the years, this has been the case for Jesus. Of course, no material thing could be used to quantify the va

There comes a time in our walk with God when we all eventually have to drop our Isaac. Our 'Isaac' in reference to the biblical perspective is something very precious to us, so precious that we feel we cannot do without. Mine was a relationship, with a person from whom I'd tried to derive my personality from and idolize unknowingly. The time had come and I tried to evade it just as always. But then again, knowing fully well that I'd get stuck at that level of my life if I couldn't let go, the battle in my mind started. With every wall of resistance I built, his word came like a bulldozer knocking it down. Until finally, I let go. I was so afraid, afraid of loneliness, of the unknown, of the future, that I wouldn't and couldn't make it on my own. Looking back now, we're both glad I did and here I am blazing my own trail, gradually learning to enjoy my own company, embracing wholeness, understanding my role in a bigger picture, impacting my world even

Whenever I remember the first day I came across the bible verse that said, "Pray for your enemy", I smile sheepishly. I had shook my head with a "no-no" screaming in my it. How could I pray for those who hurt me? As in for what nah?! The thoughts in my head screamed. And the Spirit with a voice always calm as ever, answered, "Cause sometimes you would be the one that has hurt another. Would you love for them to pray for you?" Well,that did it for me, I argued till I knew I had lost the battle. I just said in my mind, "God I don't know how you expect me to do this but help me anyways". I still had some atom of doubt in my mind, I strongly believed all my enemies had to die by fire! Fast forward, two years after, I hurt a loved one and I sincerely and desperately wanted reconciliation but all my efforts were futile. I eventually went to God in prayer, I still wonder why we find it hard to seek God first when situations arise. And just as I

Just like this picture, we'd want our lives to be prim and proper. But fortunately it doesn't always turn out that way. Why fortunately? Well, perhaps, there's a possibility that we would sink into a routine, running around in circles, never going back but yet never moving forward. Perhaps, there would be no aspirations, no dreams, no hope, and what is a man without hope? Dead. Perhaps, we would then rest on our oars and pride in the fact that we made it happen all by ourselves. This is seemingly possible as man has always tried to play god, most times to his detriment. Maybe the problems, the challenges, the bills, come so that in the process of dealing with them we bump into our purpose, our reason for being created, our existence. Perhaps they come that we may realize the endless possibilities of faith, increasing by each victory. Perhaps, the untidiness of a partner or the unruliness of a family member would teach us to love even when we do not feel like it. Perh

Ever wondered what the statement, "All you need to succeed lies within you" means? Well, its not just some quote someone invented to make you feel better. Just before you were put in your mother's womb, God deposited certain things in you. Your mother might not have known but she was not just pregnant with you, she was pregnant with greatness. This has nothing to do with the circumstances surrounding your birth. It doesn't matter if you might have perceived that you were unwanted. You came into earth loaded with gifts, talents, potentials, creativity. But with all the issues and forces of life we battle with, most times we forget. And because you're not ready to fight, we settle for less, for mediocrity and join to celebrate those who were able to harness the potential in them. We forget what was embedded in us. No one was created to live this life and leave without leaving a mark, without others knowing you were here. No! Those gifts and talents were put in y

Everyone likes to have a sense of belonging, family and friends play a major role in feeling this void and are also part of the sum total of what makes up a man. This is why most times the way a person turns out can be traced back to the family he came from, his friends and his environment. The saying "Show me your friends and I'll tell you who you are" can rarely be faulted. In this context, I'd like to somewhat classify kinds of friends into two categories, The SQUAD or The GANG. Almost everyone {except a few lone rangers} tends to have a closely knit group of friends who they spend the time with and listen to the most. The issue is a lot of people do not know the effect of the kind of friends they keep and many have had to pay dearly for this ignorance. Knowing how to identify the friends who constantly subtract and divide you and making the necessary changes is very important. You do not have the power to chose your family but you have the power to chose yo

How do you see you? What do you think of yourself in your heart? What picture do you have of yourself in your mind's eye? The answer to these questions determine to a large extent what your life turns out to be like. It affects everything that concerns you and this is why having a good picture of yourself is necessary. You can never outperform the picture you have of yourself. There'll always be a synergy between what image is on the inside and the action produced outside. Firstly, your picture of you determines your relationships. Like begets like, and we unconsciously attract people like us. The people around you paint the picture you have of yourself. If you could at this very moment sweep through your friends list in your mind, you would find out that you chose them because there was some sort of bonding between you two which resonated from your inside. And these relationship have at some point influenced certain decisions you've made in life whether good or bad. Ever

No one came to earth empty handed. God embedded certain kinds of talents and potentials in us and the moment we can dominate an area of the earth through those unique gifts and talents in fulfilment of his purpose, then can we experience true freedom. In dealing with the talents and responsibilities God has entrusted to us, we absolutely have to deal with the big D-Discipline because it is an integral part of God's testing program. Discipline is self imposed standards and restrictions motivated by a greater desire than the alternatives. Discipline is positive, not negative. God uses it to train you. True freedom is manifested in self discipline. A disciplined man is a free man, free in the sense that he is not bound by any form of hindrance in getting to his promised land. He has now taken responsibility for his life and is designing his destiny. There are two kinds of pain of which everyone must deal with one in life, either in the now or in the future. ♦The pain of disciplin

Nothing in society is more destructive than irresponsibility. The reason we have such conflicts and debilitating experiences in the world today is because the world is filled with people infected by the irresponsible spirit. Irresponsibility means not being answerable to authority, lacking a sense of accountability or not liable or able to answer for consequences. Even God's household of faith is involved in this sense of irresponsibility. When sin is confronted from the pulpit, the message is too often transferred to the person sitting in the next pew. Few want to hear a pastoral rebuke. Many Christians are loving unclean lives and don't want anyone to reprove or correct them. This is the spirit of irresponsibility. Irresponsible people are experts at transferring blame for their own irresponsible actions. Adam, the first man started this trend when he spoke in defense, "God, the woman you gave me....remember it was you who gave her to me...she gave me the fruit, a

A heavy weight of conviction rests on my heart with a lot of questions running through my head and mind. How did she let go of her family, her status and most of all her child? How was a woman barely older than I am able to stand her ground and choose to die willingly? These questions gnawed at my mind as I watched the animated version of St Perpetua earlier today. She was a young woman of 22years, well educated and from a noble pagan home who decided to tow the part of her mother by becoming a Christian in 203A.D. She and her fellow christians were rounded up one night during fellowship and imprisoned. Her father was filled with rage as he threatened to deal with the slaves whom he thought had deceived his daughter. He took away her child which was eventually given back to her in prison, you cannot begin to imagine the state of the Roman prisons then. Alongside her were a couple of which the wife was heavily pregnant, 8months precisely and two other brothers, one was killed on th

Make way, Make way Some things I have to say A few answers from you I pray But first, I hope you enjoy the vacay I wish you would stop the complaints And rise to serve with love and faith Can't you see together we are bound? With one another our strength is found, Have you ever raised a prayer for me, Oh patriots with a noble cause? Did you forget my leaders come from you? What happened to "help the youths know truth"? Why have you become my Jonah? Refusing to guide my heart? Why have you depended on policy, Forgetting the paths of honesty? Why do you think you can lead me, To the land of promise, Forgetting the one who promised? Why have you refused direction From the God of creation? Does it make common sense To sit on a fence and throw stones, When to that fence your house is so close? Both built on your father's land? Awake, O sleeping giants For in you lies my triumph Arise, O compatriots Let's build me in one accord Arise, O co

Take me to Lala land, Where am free to dream, With wanton abandon Where the crowds are cheering and the chants are roaring, Only its the name of another, of one higher than mine, Take me to Lala land, Where hearts are pounding, as winners are called out, Where the 'thank you' speech reels out of my mouth, With beaming faces under the spotlight, Take me to Lala land, Where I can be anything I want to he, Where I can dream of anything and everything, Where my mind has no limitations, Traveling back and forth to realms of greatness, Beyond what my eyes can see, Beyond what my head can contain, Widening my capacities in ways unimaginable. Take me to Lala land, Where I can see my future, Just as my maker has prepared, Where I can feel the aura of excellence, Just before it manifests, for surely it will Come with me, with eyes closed and minds racing, Let's travel together, to the cosmos of our destinies, To a place where only healthy thoughts can ta

He walked faster and faster by the second and I was almost out of breath trying to keep up and then he tried to break into a run but unfortunately for him, a car veered out of nowhere and narrowly missed hitting him. My God was indeed alive, you see I had been paired with this guy for change, he had a 500hundred naira note which consisted of my 400hundred and his 100 hundred naira. Now you know why he wanted to run away. As he stopped, I held him by the belt, this was no time for too much English, "Oga, abeg gimme the money. I wan buy card." He looked at me sheepishly and handed the money. This and many other experiences, all of which I cannot share at once, has made up my story. I haven't been to many states in this country but I have lived in Lagos for about 14years the greater part of which I always at school, boarding that is, or inside the house which later earned me the name, "Omo get inside", a term in the south western part of Nigeria used to describe

Sometimes at 2am, am scribbling away with my pen. I've never been able to fully adjust to the typing procedure. I do like the old fashioned way quite much, maybe it's cause I like to bask in the euphoria of having a writing like mine. Those times, my creativity antenna is at alert as a thousand and one words keep popping up in my head, some forming thoughts that I recreate on paper, some giving only phrases that become my titles or themes, some trying to stand independent but not for long as I colonize them with other words to form my articles. Sometimes at 2am, why 2am you ask, cause it's my favorite time of the day, I lay on my bed staring at my ceiling and asking myself random questions, thoughts of the previous day rummaging through my mind, wondering what the future holds, turning my life vision over and over because you see, that is one thing a man must never lose sight of. Sometimes at 2am, I pray. With an ear piece plugged in and a playlist of some Nathaniel Bass

“Do you spit or swallow?” This is one of the most important question of life (maybe for a reason I don’t know, people fail to ask it more often) Whether it is a wine tasting or brushing your teeth, or eating water melon with seeds in it or in short whatever, your attitude to life determines whether you would spit or swallow.

In the midst of the crowd, yet so lonely. Behind the smiles and the laughter, there are pains and wounds known only to you cause, "no one can really understand", you say. You offer words of encouragement and motivation that you're so much in need of, your heart breaking as you try to provide soothing words that'll mend the heart of others. Sometimes you're not so sure if you'd even make it, everyone you think, is making it big and living in utmost comfort while you're battling with lack and not just enough. You're tempted to compromise your stand, maybe you just didn't hear right. The world can't be too much of his enemy right? You know He said, "slowly but surely" now you're wondering how slow slow really is. You put in your best and it didn't work out the way you wanted so you want to just call it quits and walk away but to what exactly? You're now comparing yourself with your peers forgetting, that everyone is on his

So today deliberately wanted to turn into a bad day but I didn't let it. I had barely slept for two hours after an all night when my dad woke me up, I was just looking at him like, "You no dey sleep?" He wakes you up in such a way that you hear his voice even from your deepest of dreams and you jerk up with your heart beating times two of its normal rate. Remember I told you he's a disciplinarian. After attending to what needed attention, I tried to get back to my much needed sleep and cramps set in. Really??? Nothing was getting in the way of this my beloved sleep so I hurriedly took some pain killers and snuggled into my pillows, thirty minutes later, I was staring at my ceiling trying to convince myself not being pregnant now was a good thing, Mother Nature had apparently won. So I attempted to read, but the words seemed to jump out of the pages, dancing in circles around my head, just like in Tom and Jerry. Finally, cramps gave way to sleep, two hours later

If I tried to measure his love I'd run out of tapes to roll If I even attempted to imagine it I'd exhaust the capacity of human thoughts. So I'll just wade and bask in volumes of it Till am so far beneath to wander away. In it every fault, mistake and wrong is washed away And even if I tried to pull away It'd draw me back with force Calvary's sacrifice It has never failed even in apparent defeat It has never left even in severe loneliness It has never, not because it won't but because it can't. This knowing brings peace and joy Even in moments of brokenness and undoings. It forever stays as long as I want it And I want it now and forever.

Deep in the forests where the feet of man never dared to dread was were they abode, so creepy even fear itself shuddered. With grotesque creatures visible yet invisible for only those with the eyes of their spirit could see them. In circles the selected moved gyrating to the beats, hands and legs moving in rhythm to sounds created by whom they could not see. With the leaves in their mouth, no word was uttered but the language of the beyond echoed in their ears louder than their own heartbeats. As they moved gracefully, sweat glistening on their bodies, one by one they came to the middle of the circle laying down their treasures, beautiful destinies discovered and shining stars of the innocent for no tainted was worthy of the oracles. Soon the night was gone and the dance was done. One by one they transformed, flying away to humanity. But perhaps the drums had been too loud and the night too dark for them to hear or see the ones who had kept watch offering incense which had risen up

After listening to Cohbams Asuquo give this talk at a TEDx session, I realized I needed this gift. Now, not physically as you may mischieviously think but psychologically. He talked about going to the mall to get something with his wife and having exactly what he wanted in mind, because he was blind he couldn't afford the luxury of checking out and buying other things but his wife on the other hand wanted this, that and so on. He then made an application to our everyday lives with this illustration by which I could totally relate to.  How many times had I wanted to work at something, to focus on just one thing and gotten distracted by so many other things that probably weren't even worth it in the long run? Many a times, we get carried away by things that we know deep down we do not need but just succumb to for sheer pleasure. We need to understand the necessity of being blind to certain things, certain voices, certain pleasures and side attractions if we really want to achi

Dear future husband, I've been awake trying to imagine what it'd be like to live with one person for the rest of my life. I don't know if I've met you already, I just wonder if you also think about living with me. I watched The Wedding Party for the third time today and it gives me the same feeling each time. I definitely want to have a dream wedding, which girl doesn't? So I beg you please be responsible. I really hope you're doing something tangible with your life cause am trying my best here. The only thing that scared me in that movie was Broda Banky still asking how he could stick to one person for the rest of his life on the morning of his wedding. Pls I'm begging you in the name of God, figure that out before you even engage me. I cannot come and be crying and be running up and down on heels for that matter. But then am also learning it's more than just having a dream wedding but having a happily ever after marriage. I believe it exists but we b

Growing up in naija gave me a lot of experiences I know I couldn't have probably gotten anywhere else. There were some quite funny ones though and I thought to share some that I remember  with you. Reminiscing on some of them can actually help you have a good laugh. My mom told me just recently that I ate raw pepper when I was about a year and 6months and it got me running round the house with my mouth wide open and I didn't cry o...you can imagine the sight.😅 So,here we go! ◆Welcome to naija, where once rain starts falling, power supply is cut off and if you see the light immediately the rain stops, glory be to God cause just like a friend said they have to dry their wire😂 ◆Welcome to naija, where as an adolescent girl, your mom would tell you not to go close to a boy else you'd get pregnant. Hmm...see me running from boys then. Still wondering how I fell for that.😕 ◆Welcome to naija, where your parents would only realize how dumb you are when your intelligent frien

What about what God wants? This is one question we don't find too many people asking these days. It's always what we want, what we need, what we must have, our children, our husbands, our parents, our families, our jobs, and many other things we pursue. All these things are quite alright but have we really taken out time to ask God what he wants. I'm not yet a parent so I might not be able to say much on what it takes to provide for another but I am a student and I don't see too many of my counterparts concerned about this. We are so consumed with the need to "make it" in life and be successful that we can do anything it takes, I mean anything! Not many want to be identified as 'churchous' much less even be committed to church stuff as we call it but at the close shave of almost being caught with 'expo' in the exam hall, we mutter 'thank you Jesus'. It is good to have visions, dream big, study work hard and all that but we must remembe

There was a time when I was always so afraid of not being accepted and that kept me in my prison for a long time. I couldn't write as I wanted to,couldn't speak as I wanted to,always trying to tone down the intensity of my words to suit the opinion of others. Always wanting to please at my own detriment, overworking myself to meet the deadline of those who wouldn't even bother to meet mine even if I gave them a thousand years. I'd give without restrictions and even get punished for it, I'd cry on my bunk at night so no one would hear. Someone would hurt me and i would try to justify their actions. I stutter a little and this brought about low self esteem, I missed out on a lot of opportunities in high school then cause the words always just happened to cease when they were needed most. After a while, I concluded everyone was out to get me so I raised the gates of my prison wall. No one was going to come in but I wasn't getting out either. Time after time I'