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Musings of a Young Dreamer Girl: Note to Self

In the midst of the crowd, yet so lonely. Behind the smiles and the laughter, there are pains and wounds known only to you cause, "no one can really understand", you say.
You offer words of encouragement and motivation that you're so much in need of, your heart breaking as you try to provide soothing words that'll mend the heart of others. Sometimes you're not so sure if you'd even make it, everyone you think, is making it big and living in utmost comfort while you're battling with lack and not just enough. You're tempted to compromise your stand, maybe you just didn't hear right. The world can't be too much of his enemy right?
You know He said, "slowly but surely" now you're wondering how slow slow really is. You put in your best and it didn't work out the way you wanted so you want to just call it quits and walk away but to what exactly? You're now comparing yourself with your peers forgetting, that everyone is on his lane running his race, forgetting that He makes all things beautiful in his time.
You're just about giving up on reading and confessing His word, what good is it anyway you ask, forgetting that there's a phrase called "Transaction processing"
You know what you saw in your mind's eye was real, but now you're doubting yourself because someone said it doesn't work that way these days so you want to stray from the path set before you. You have so many questions, but it seems like He's gone on vacation in your case.
But how could you forget that he knew you before you were conceived? He already knew your end while you were just a tiny blob of blood. Why would he bring you this far to abandon you? Perhaps you need to go back to the words He'd given you that you'd shared with everyone else but yourself, perhaps you would do anything else but give up. Perhaps you would hold on a little longer, you know you will because you were born to survive against all odds. Perhaps the thought that "you are more than a conqueror in Him" is flooding your heart right now. Perhaps the difficulties were part of the journey making up your story, making you stronger and tougher and better. Bringing you closer to the One who had loved you first even before you knew you. You were entrusted with what you saw in your mind's eye because he knew you could handle it with him leading you on the inside. Don't fail him.
"Greater is he that is in you than he that is in the world"

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