KiKi's LAIR

  February is here.  We'll all agree that the year is not so new anymore. The buzz about new year resolutions in the first place wasn't exactly there and I think we're beginning to get the hang of it.  "The New Year, New Me" mantra doesn't exactly work, what works is having a mental disposition that you want to change certain things about yourself whether it's the first day of the year or the 118th day of the year.  But this does not in any way mean that you neglect the importance of newness or the opportunity of a fresh start that a new day or new month gives you.  Maybe you've made plans, you have goals you want to achieve or a certain level you want to be at by the end of the year. NOW is the time to start. Not tomorrow, not the next day but now.  Get busy. Break down those goals you have written down into tiny action points that can keep you busy and productive. If you want to write a book, you can decide to write a chapter in two weeks. And by the...

You and I, dear reader would both agree that a lot has happened in our lives already this year and we're just about getting done with the first half of it. I for one haven't been exactly reaching the marks I set for myself this year and it gets so frustrating when I look at how much is yet to be done that I want to just throw 'it' all away and just settle for whatever happens. The case might be the same for some of y'all. If you do not happen to belong to this category, well, congratulations! But I'd also have you know that there is always a better way to doing stuff and living life, just so you don't settle for whatever wonderful position you might find yourself in at the moment. So, first things first, what does it actually mean to 'Settle'? The meaning of the word varies over a wide range of definitions but in the context of this article it means, "To become fixed or permanent; to become stationary; to establish one's self or itself;...

In my previous article, I mentioned quite a number of steps one could take towards the coming year in order to make it a successful and rewarding one. And there are other things I'd also want to share with you in that aspect. They might be things you already know but didn't think were important but I tell you they'd go a long way in making your year worth it. BE POSITIVE Positivity is just like a vibe. It emanates from people unconsciously. And this is one of our major goals in the lair, to exude positive vibes to those around us and on this platform. Everyone wants to be around optimistic people. Those with a pessimistic view always have a gloomy outlook on life. Being positive draws people to you and increases your chances of meeting strategic people. Networking is very essential as no man is an island. So then, how can you be positive? Positive confessions.  Always make positive confessions even in the face of negative circumstances. It might not be easy bu...

The year is gradually drawing to a close and soon a new year will come knocking at your door again. It would make sense to prepare for its coming so you won't be caught unawares. If 2017 didn't go well for you, now is the time to count your losses and move on. Don't wait for the new year to do that, it could lower your morale by 80%.  If it went just as you planned, kudos! But remember, there's always more, there's always higher ground to climb and there's always a better wayway to doing things so don't rest on your oars.  The purpose of this article is to prepare you for 2018, so much that the year itself will meet you ready and waiting at the door to welcome it. Firstly, REFOCUS YOUR VISION. This will help you set the proper goals. Sometimes, disappointments can hit you so hard you begin to wonder if your dreams are actually not too big for you. Maybe they are, but then isn't that why its called a 'dream'? And your vision is to mak...

We are almost that time of the year when we celebrate the birth of our saviour, Jesus Christ. It's usually a season of love and sharing that just seems to bring out the good and loving side of everyone. But one striking fact is that sometimes we get carried away with planning and celebrations that we forget the actual celebrant, the main reason for the season. Everyone of us has a birthday and on that day we get gifts, wishes, calls and text messages from loved ones. That day just seems to be basically about us. When it comes to Christmas, I believe the same should apply. If the celebrant is having his party in church, well, what are you doing at home? If you're exchanging gifts with everyone else, what about the celebrant? Imagine you hosted a birthday party in your house and everyone came with gifts for each other except you, the celebrant...how would you feel? Over the years, this has been the case for Jesus. Of course, no material thing could be used to quantify the va...

There comes a time in our walk with God when we all eventually have to drop our Isaac. Our 'Isaac' in reference to the biblical perspective is something very precious to us, so precious that we feel we cannot do without. Mine was a relationship, with a person from whom I'd tried to derive my personality from and idolize unknowingly. The time had come and I tried to evade it just as always. But then again, knowing fully well that I'd get stuck at that level of my life if I couldn't let go, the battle in my mind started. With every wall of resistance I built, his word came like a bulldozer knocking it down. Until finally, I let go. I was so afraid, afraid of loneliness, of the unknown, of the future, that I wouldn't and couldn't make it on my own. Looking back now, we're both glad I did and here I am blazing my own trail, gradually learning to enjoy my own company, embracing wholeness, understanding my role in a bigger picture, impacting my world even...

Just like this picture, we'd want our lives to be prim and proper. But fortunately it doesn't always turn out that way. Why fortunately? Well, perhaps, there's a possibility that we would sink into a routine, running around in circles, never going back but yet never moving forward. Perhaps, there would be no aspirations, no dreams, no hope, and what is a man without hope? Dead. Perhaps, we would then rest on our oars and pride in the fact that we made it happen all by ourselves. This is seemingly possible as man has always tried to play god, most times to his detriment. Maybe the problems, the challenges, the bills, come so that in the process of dealing with them we bump into our purpose, our reason for being created, our existence. Perhaps they come that we may realize the endless possibilities of faith, increasing by each victory. Perhaps, the untidiness of a partner or the unruliness of a family member would teach us to love even when we do not feel like it. Perh...

Ever wondered what the statement, "All you need to succeed lies within you" means? Well, its not just some quote someone invented to make you feel better. Just before you were put in your mother's womb, God deposited certain things in you. Your mother might not have known but she was not just pregnant with you, she was pregnant with greatness. This has nothing to do with the circumstances surrounding your birth. It doesn't matter if you might have perceived that you were unwanted. You came into earth loaded with gifts, talents, potentials, creativity. But with all the issues and forces of life we battle with, most times we forget. And because you're not ready to fight, we settle for less, for mediocrity and join to celebrate those who were able to harness the potential in them. We forget what was embedded in us. No one was created to live this life and leave without leaving a mark, without others knowing you were here. No! Those gifts and talents were put in y...

How do you see you? What do you think of yourself in your heart? What picture do you have of yourself in your mind's eye? The answer to these questions determine to a large extent what your life turns out to be like. It affects everything that concerns you and this is why having a good picture of yourself is necessary. You can never outperform the picture you have of yourself. There'll always be a synergy between what image is on the inside and the action produced outside. Firstly, your picture of you determines your relationships. Like begets like, and we unconsciously attract people like us. The people around you paint the picture you have of yourself. If you could at this very moment sweep through your friends list in your mind, you would find out that you chose them because there was some sort of bonding between you two which resonated from your inside. And these relationship have at some point influenced certain decisions you've made in life whether good or bad. Ever...

Nothing in society is more destructive than irresponsibility. The reason we have such conflicts and debilitating experiences in the world today is because the world is filled with people infected by the irresponsible spirit. Irresponsibility means not being answerable to authority, lacking a sense of accountability or not liable or able to answer for consequences. Even God's household of faith is involved in this sense of irresponsibility. When sin is confronted from the pulpit, the message is too often transferred to the person sitting in the next pew. Few want to hear a pastoral rebuke. Many Christians are loving unclean lives and don't want anyone to reprove or correct them. This is the spirit of irresponsibility. Irresponsible people are experts at transferring blame for their own irresponsible actions. Adam, the first man started this trend when he spoke in defense, "God, the woman you gave me....remember it was you who gave her to me...she gave me the fruit, a...

“Do you spit or swallow?” This is one of the most important question of life (maybe for a reason I don’t know, people fail to ask it more often) Whether it is a wine tasting or brushing your teeth, or eating water melon with seeds in it or in short whatever, your attitude to life determines whether you would spit or swallow.

In the midst of the crowd, yet so lonely. Behind the smiles and the laughter, there are pains and wounds known only to you cause, "no one can really understand", you say. You offer words of encouragement and motivation that you're so much in need of, your heart breaking as you try to provide soothing words that'll mend the heart of others. Sometimes you're not so sure if you'd even make it, everyone you think, is making it big and living in utmost comfort while you're battling with lack and not just enough. You're tempted to compromise your stand, maybe you just didn't hear right. The world can't be too much of his enemy right? You know He said, "slowly but surely" now you're wondering how slow slow really is. You put in your best and it didn't work out the way you wanted so you want to just call it quits and walk away but to what exactly? You're now comparing yourself with your peers forgetting, that everyone is on his...

After listening to Cohbams Asuquo give this talk at a TEDx session, I realized I needed this gift. Now, not physically as you may mischieviously think but psychologically. He talked about going to the mall to get something with his wife and having exactly what he wanted in mind, because he was blind he couldn't afford the luxury of checking out and buying other things but his wife on the other hand wanted this, that and so on. He then made an application to our everyday lives with this illustration by which I could totally relate to.  How many times had I wanted to work at something, to focus on just one thing and gotten distracted by so many other things that probably weren't even worth it in the long run? Many a times, we get carried away by things that we know deep down we do not need but just succumb to for sheer pleasure. We need to understand the necessity of being blind to certain things, certain voices, certain pleasures and side attractions if we really want to achi...

Dear future husband, I've been awake trying to imagine what it'd be like to live with one person for the rest of my life. I don't know if I've met you already, I just wonder if you also think about living with me. I watched The Wedding Party for the third time today and it gives me the same feeling each time. I definitely want to have a dream wedding, which girl doesn't? So I beg you please be responsible. I really hope you're doing something tangible with your life cause am trying my best here. The only thing that scared me in that movie was Broda Banky still asking how he could stick to one person for the rest of his life on the morning of his wedding. Pls I'm begging you in the name of God, figure that out before you even engage me. I cannot come and be crying and be running up and down on heels for that matter. But then am also learning it's more than just having a dream wedding but having a happily ever after marriage. I believe it exists but we b...

There was a time when I was always so afraid of not being accepted and that kept me in my prison for a long time. I couldn't write as I wanted to,couldn't speak as I wanted to,always trying to tone down the intensity of my words to suit the opinion of others. Always wanting to please at my own detriment, overworking myself to meet the deadline of those who wouldn't even bother to meet mine even if I gave them a thousand years. I'd give without restrictions and even get punished for it, I'd cry on my bunk at night so no one would hear. Someone would hurt me and i would try to justify their actions. I stutter a little and this brought about low self esteem, I missed out on a lot of opportunities in high school then cause the words always just happened to cease when they were needed most. After a while, I concluded everyone was out to get me so I raised the gates of my prison wall. No one was going to come in but I wasn't getting out either. Time after time I...

Looking good is good business, I for one like to look good but I don't derive my identity from looking good and you shouldn't too. Oh the mascara's quite befitting and I love the way the eye shadow lights up the face but you better be lighting up the walls of your heart cause the true beauty lies within. The content in this context is more important than the container...meaning take care of the inside more than the outside. What defines a complete woman is not what she wears or the hair she makes,its the aura and beauty she exudes from within. I'd rather be beautiful on the inside because that's what  counts,that's the one that lasts. The woman that leads is the one within.

  Through 2016, Nigerians have been 'blessed' by several networking platforms, from great MMM to Ultimate cycler to wow givers forum. Most of these originated in the past years and became quite popular this year probably fueled by the regressive economy and all round inflation and hardship. I can't divert to the history of these platforms as the guiders and disciples would hang me for every word so if you think there might still be an atom of credibility check out their respective Wikipedia pages. A simple way of explaining a ponzi or pyramid scheme is in the name Pyramid. It is not a cycle of help giving as the description would always suggest. It is simply a structure constructed by a person or group of persons with sole aim of ensuring a continuous flow of money to the top by always adding layers of larger bases to existing pyramid by the concept of rewarding higher layers of the pyramids with such increase.  A well planned and executed pyramid scheme can kee...

"Change". the one major word that has been on the lips of Nigerians since the last election. Funny enough, the election before that had carried the 'Transformation' Logo, then I sit back and ask myself   'Change and Transformation', what's the difference? We claim we are nationals of Nigeria and then want one man to transform or rather, "change" the whole country, I mean a country of about 170 million people. How possible is that? Barack Obama made this profound statement, "Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we've been waiting for. We are the change that we seek." Or country is rapidly entering a state of moral and economic decay, corruption has become a norm while we sit back and wait for 'somebody' who will arise and do something about the undesirable situation. The truth is that while you're hoping for somebody that will catch a vision and summon the co...