KiKi's LAIR

If anything, I have started to understand why our emotions cannot be trusted. You know something or someone is not good for you but, your cravings and coconut head emotions are clamoring for it, so bad that you eventually give in. Now, when you give in to their demands, those same emotions turn on you and taunt you for not being strong enough to resist them. Traitors, I tell you!  Fear not, no boy has broken my heart.😆 I have just been having deep thoughts on how powerful or powerless my emotions can be based on the level of power I give them. If you read my previous post , you would be aware of the internal battles I've been dealing with since my mom passed. It will be four months in a few days, how time flies, although it still feels like yesterday.  I found it amazing how I could be on an emotional high for days, living my best life and feeling good, and then without warning the dark gloomy blanket of sad emotions would rest on me, plunging me into days of depression and i...

  February is here.  We'll all agree that the year is not so new anymore. The buzz about new year resolutions in the first place wasn't exactly there and I think we're beginning to get the hang of it.  "The New Year, New Me" mantra doesn't exactly work, what works is having a mental disposition that you want to change certain things about yourself whether it's the first day of the year or the 118th day of the year.  But this does not in any way mean that you neglect the importance of newness or the opportunity of a fresh start that a new day or new month gives you.  Maybe you've made plans, you have goals you want to achieve or a certain level you want to be at by the end of the year. NOW is the time to start. Not tomorrow, not the next day but now.  Get busy. Break down those goals you have written down into tiny action points that can keep you busy and productive. If you want to write a book, you can decide to write a chapter in two weeks. And by the...

There comes a time in our walk with God when we all eventually have to drop our Isaac. Our 'Isaac' in reference to the biblical perspective is something very precious to us, so precious that we feel we cannot do without. Mine was a relationship, with a person from whom I'd tried to derive my personality from and idolize unknowingly. The time had come and I tried to evade it just as always. But then again, knowing fully well that I'd get stuck at that level of my life if I couldn't let go, the battle in my mind started. With every wall of resistance I built, his word came like a bulldozer knocking it down. Until finally, I let go. I was so afraid, afraid of loneliness, of the unknown, of the future, that I wouldn't and couldn't make it on my own. Looking back now, we're both glad I did and here I am blazing my own trail, gradually learning to enjoy my own company, embracing wholeness, understanding my role in a bigger picture, impacting my world even...

Just like this picture, we'd want our lives to be prim and proper. But fortunately it doesn't always turn out that way. Why fortunately? Well, perhaps, there's a possibility that we would sink into a routine, running around in circles, never going back but yet never moving forward. Perhaps, there would be no aspirations, no dreams, no hope, and what is a man without hope? Dead. Perhaps, we would then rest on our oars and pride in the fact that we made it happen all by ourselves. This is seemingly possible as man has always tried to play god, most times to his detriment. Maybe the problems, the challenges, the bills, come so that in the process of dealing with them we bump into our purpose, our reason for being created, our existence. Perhaps they come that we may realize the endless possibilities of faith, increasing by each victory. Perhaps, the untidiness of a partner or the unruliness of a family member would teach us to love even when we do not feel like it. Perh...

Ever wondered what the statement, "All you need to succeed lies within you" means? Well, its not just some quote someone invented to make you feel better. Just before you were put in your mother's womb, God deposited certain things in you. Your mother might not have known but she was not just pregnant with you, she was pregnant with greatness. This has nothing to do with the circumstances surrounding your birth. It doesn't matter if you might have perceived that you were unwanted. You came into earth loaded with gifts, talents, potentials, creativity. But with all the issues and forces of life we battle with, most times we forget. And because you're not ready to fight, we settle for less, for mediocrity and join to celebrate those who were able to harness the potential in them. We forget what was embedded in us. No one was created to live this life and leave without leaving a mark, without others knowing you were here. No! Those gifts and talents were put in y...

How do you see you? What do you think of yourself in your heart? What picture do you have of yourself in your mind's eye? The answer to these questions determine to a large extent what your life turns out to be like. It affects everything that concerns you and this is why having a good picture of yourself is necessary. You can never outperform the picture you have of yourself. There'll always be a synergy between what image is on the inside and the action produced outside. Firstly, your picture of you determines your relationships. Like begets like, and we unconsciously attract people like us. The people around you paint the picture you have of yourself. If you could at this very moment sweep through your friends list in your mind, you would find out that you chose them because there was some sort of bonding between you two which resonated from your inside. And these relationship have at some point influenced certain decisions you've made in life whether good or bad. Ever...

Nothing in society is more destructive than irresponsibility. The reason we have such conflicts and debilitating experiences in the world today is because the world is filled with people infected by the irresponsible spirit. Irresponsibility means not being answerable to authority, lacking a sense of accountability or not liable or able to answer for consequences. Even God's household of faith is involved in this sense of irresponsibility. When sin is confronted from the pulpit, the message is too often transferred to the person sitting in the next pew. Few want to hear a pastoral rebuke. Many Christians are loving unclean lives and don't want anyone to reprove or correct them. This is the spirit of irresponsibility. Irresponsible people are experts at transferring blame for their own irresponsible actions. Adam, the first man started this trend when he spoke in defense, "God, the woman you gave me....remember it was you who gave her to me...she gave me the fruit, a...

Take me to Lala land, Where am free to dream, With wanton abandon Where the crowds are cheering and the chants are roaring, Only its the name of another, of one higher than mine, Take me to Lala land, Where hearts are pounding, as winners are called out, Where the 'thank you' speech reels out of my mouth, With beaming faces under the spotlight, Take me to Lala land, Where I can be anything I want to he, Where I can dream of anything and everything, Where my mind has no limitations, Traveling back and forth to realms of greatness, Beyond what my eyes can see, Beyond what my head can contain, Widening my capacities in ways unimaginable. Take me to Lala land, Where I can see my future, Just as my maker has prepared, Where I can feel the aura of excellence, Just before it manifests, for surely it will Come with me, with eyes closed and minds racing, Let's travel together, to the cosmos of our destinies, To a place where only healthy thoughts can ta...

“Do you spit or swallow?” This is one of the most important question of life (maybe for a reason I don’t know, people fail to ask it more often) Whether it is a wine tasting or brushing your teeth, or eating water melon with seeds in it or in short whatever, your attitude to life determines whether you would spit or swallow.

So today deliberately wanted to turn into a bad day but I didn't let it. I had barely slept for two hours after an all night when my dad woke me up, I was just looking at him like, "You no dey sleep?" He wakes you up in such a way that you hear his voice even from your deepest of dreams and you jerk up with your heart beating times two of its normal rate. Remember I told you he's a disciplinarian. After attending to what needed attention, I tried to get back to my much needed sleep and cramps set in. Really??? Nothing was getting in the way of this my beloved sleep so I hurriedly took some pain killers and snuggled into my pillows, thirty minutes later, I was staring at my ceiling trying to convince myself not being pregnant now was a good thing, Mother Nature had apparently won. So I attempted to read, but the words seemed to jump out of the pages, dancing in circles around my head, just like in Tom and Jerry. Finally, cramps gave way to sleep, two hours later...

After listening to Cohbams Asuquo give this talk at a TEDx session, I realized I needed this gift. Now, not physically as you may mischieviously think but psychologically. He talked about going to the mall to get something with his wife and having exactly what he wanted in mind, because he was blind he couldn't afford the luxury of checking out and buying other things but his wife on the other hand wanted this, that and so on. He then made an application to our everyday lives with this illustration by which I could totally relate to.  How many times had I wanted to work at something, to focus on just one thing and gotten distracted by so many other things that probably weren't even worth it in the long run? Many a times, we get carried away by things that we know deep down we do not need but just succumb to for sheer pleasure. We need to understand the necessity of being blind to certain things, certain voices, certain pleasures and side attractions if we really want to achi...

There was a time when I was always so afraid of not being accepted and that kept me in my prison for a long time. I couldn't write as I wanted to,couldn't speak as I wanted to,always trying to tone down the intensity of my words to suit the opinion of others. Always wanting to please at my own detriment, overworking myself to meet the deadline of those who wouldn't even bother to meet mine even if I gave them a thousand years. I'd give without restrictions and even get punished for it, I'd cry on my bunk at night so no one would hear. Someone would hurt me and i would try to justify their actions. I stutter a little and this brought about low self esteem, I missed out on a lot of opportunities in high school then cause the words always just happened to cease when they were needed most. After a while, I concluded everyone was out to get me so I raised the gates of my prison wall. No one was going to come in but I wasn't getting out either. Time after time I...

Looking good is good business, I for one like to look good but I don't derive my identity from looking good and you shouldn't too. Oh the mascara's quite befitting and I love the way the eye shadow lights up the face but you better be lighting up the walls of your heart cause the true beauty lies within. The content in this context is more important than the container...meaning take care of the inside more than the outside. What defines a complete woman is not what she wears or the hair she makes,its the aura and beauty she exudes from within. I'd rather be beautiful on the inside because that's what  counts,that's the one that lasts. The woman that leads is the one within.

What can I say about water unclean Oil so dense Or blood spilled to cover the mixture? What can I think of the hard hats The Bulging pipes Or the lies that they disperse? What is my opinion of RPGs The memories it is to wipe Or the cleaning less important than a checkup What can you say about Greed Of fluid money Moving faster than the bullets that secure it What can anyone say about the Outpour of the Niger Of its people Flowing ignorantly into the Sea?

In almost every aspect and point in life, people tend to measure their success and achievements most times to evaluate if goals have been achieved or if effort was worthwhile or to analyse amount of additional work and time needed to achieve the said goals. In this enquiry, several techniques, yardsticks and approaches have been developed and incorporated over time. However the continuous search for an ideal measurement scale/relation/method goes forward to prove that we haven't found that ideal yet. I however have come to measure 'relative success of association' by levels of external and internal pressure to achieve and it's corresponding praise level. I came to this weird method of measuring by association since every single knowledge, idea, fact or understanding we have emanates from external influence or deductions based on same. That is an article for another day but because I have brought you to start considering the truth behind that statement goes a long way ...

"Change". the one major word that has been on the lips of Nigerians since the last election. Funny enough, the election before that had carried the 'Transformation' Logo, then I sit back and ask myself   'Change and Transformation', what's the difference? We claim we are nationals of Nigeria and then want one man to transform or rather, "change" the whole country, I mean a country of about 170 million people. How possible is that? Barack Obama made this profound statement, "Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we've been waiting for. We are the change that we seek." Or country is rapidly entering a state of moral and economic decay, corruption has become a norm while we sit back and wait for 'somebody' who will arise and do something about the undesirable situation. The truth is that while you're hoping for somebody that will catch a vision and summon the co...