KiKi's LAIR

I had always heard of Santa Claus and the image I had of Him was a stout fat man dressed in red carrying a sack of gifts and entering through the chimney. Well, since we didn't have any chimney, I always wondered where he'd come in through if he ever visited my house. A day before Christmas when I was quite younger, mom said to get ready, we'd be going to see Santa. In my little mind, the image I had was the one I expected we were going to see. I was so excited, I told everyone who cared to listen, everyone literally, I mean even the mallam on my street that I was going to see Santa. Whether they understood what I was saying or not, I was just too excited to care. Finally morning came, after a long night, longer than usual or not probably cause I was too excited to sleep well. It was actually a Christmas party and other kids were there as well. Eventually, we stood on the line waiting our turn to see Santa. From afar, he looked slimmer than usual, did he lose weight? I w...

“Do you spit or swallow?” This is one of the most important question of life (maybe for a reason I don’t know, people fail to ask it more often) Whether it is a wine tasting or brushing your teeth, or eating water melon with seeds in it or in short whatever, your attitude to life determines whether you would spit or swallow.

Dear future husband, I've been awake trying to imagine what it'd be like to live with one person for the rest of my life. I don't know if I've met you already, I just wonder if you also think about living with me. I watched The Wedding Party for the third time today and it gives me the same feeling each time. I definitely want to have a dream wedding, which girl doesn't? So I beg you please be responsible. I really hope you're doing something tangible with your life cause am trying my best here. The only thing that scared me in that movie was Broda Banky still asking how he could stick to one person for the rest of his life on the morning of his wedding. Pls I'm begging you in the name of God, figure that out before you even engage me. I cannot come and be crying and be running up and down on heels for that matter. But then am also learning it's more than just having a dream wedding but having a happily ever after marriage. I believe it exists but we b...

Growing up in naija gave me a lot of experiences I know I couldn't have probably gotten anywhere else. There were some quite funny ones though and I thought to share some that I remember  with you. Reminiscing on some of them can actually help you have a good laugh. My mom told me just recently that I ate raw pepper when I was about a year and 6months and it got me running round the house with my mouth wide open and I didn't cry o...you can imagine the sight.😅 So,here we go! ◆Welcome to naija, where once rain starts falling, power supply is cut off and if you see the light immediately the rain stops, glory be to God cause just like a friend said they have to dry their wire😂 ◆Welcome to naija, where as an adolescent girl, your mom would tell you not to go close to a boy else you'd get pregnant. Hmm...see me running from boys then. Still wondering how I fell for that.😕 ◆Welcome to naija, where your parents would only realize how dumb you are when your intelligent frien...

                       THE MYSTERY LADIES OF #TECHPLUS2015 On Saturday, 25 th July I was at the #techplus2015 conference and exhibition which held at Eko hotels & Suites VI, Lagos and when I twitted and posted about the occasion and the ladies I met, little did I know that these ladies wouldn’t just turn me to a love sick idiot but would put me into one of the worst trouble I have been in on social media, barely minutes after the post, messages flooded my inbox, guys asking who are these God sent ladies that finally humbled me, ladies writing messages that can only be interpreted as “young man am coming for you!!’ at first I kept my calm but now after thinking about it I guess it would be for the greater good for me to tell everyone about these ladies. Note: For the benefit of some unexperienced or underage Friends on my list, certain descriptions have b...

THE MYSTERY GLASSES See me see wahala oooo. Just this morning we found out that some spirits from the pit of hell didn't want the progress of my mother and my family at large and they decided to show it off by stealing my mum's reading glasses just minutes before she was supposed to read her bible in the morning. Maybe am going way too far with this or not, why don't I let you be the judge of that. Here is a story of how it happened; So I woke up this morning to find my mom searching under my bed as early as 5am.What could she be looking for I wondered, then she asked me, "Have you seen my pair of glasses?"  I answered in the negative and she asked again  "are you absolutely sure?" I was like, I don't get it, did I take your glasses in my dream, I thought.  My sister also got the same interrogation immediately she woke up, she also said she hadn't said anything.  "This people have come again!...... They don...

        I just wanted to get ingredients 4 my breakfast 4rm Mama Dorcas,the woman who sold provisions down d street. As I came out of my gate, everywhere was calm and quiet as expected, most children were probably in school by that time of d morning. As I walked into d store, I greeted Mama Dorcas just as I noticed a dark complexioned pot bellied man standing at a corner in the shop. This wasn't a strange sight at all, though not quite pleasant for that time in the morning as don't actually know what will end up spoiling your day. When he smiled at me he exposed his set of 'it-was-once-white-now-brown-teeth' .Immediately I lost appetite for breakfast that morning. Then he told me he'd be the one to attend to me because he liked fair people...who cares?       I just wanted to get what I came for as soon as possible. So after getting everything I wanted, I proceeded to leave and he called me... "what on earth did he ...