Welcome to Naija

Growing up in naija gave me a lot of experiences I know I couldn't have probably gotten anywhere else. There were some quite funny ones though and I thought to share some that I remember with you. Reminiscing on some of them can actually help you have a good laugh. My mom told me just recently that I ate raw pepper when I was about a year and 6months and it got me running round the house with my mouth wide open and I didn't cry o...you can imagine the sight.😅
So,here we go!
◆Welcome to naija, where once rain starts falling, power supply is cut off and if you see the light immediately the rain stops, glory be to God cause just like a friend said they have to dry their wire😂
◆Welcome to naija, where as an adolescent girl, your mom would tell you not to go close to a boy else you'd get pregnant. Hmm...see me running from boys then. Still wondering how I fell for that.😕
◆Welcome to naija, where your parents would only realize how dumb you are when your intelligent friend comes to visit and they won't hesitate to tell you right in front of your friend.😢
◆Sleep overs? That one only happens in film and abroad o. Your parents probably think all your friends are possessed and their parents probably think so too. Hmmm, before you will come back now and start flying in the night.😂
◆Welcome to naija, where your parents would call you all the way from your room to come give them TV remote that's lying on the table right in front of them.😒 As if that was not enough,they'd send you three different times to get them three different things from the same place. But why?😟 Then they'd be coming out from the kitchen probably and still send you to bring something from that same kitchen almost immediately.😣
◆Whenever your full name is called at home, you've either done something good or something bad. Most of the time, its something bad and you're in trouble.😧 And of course, if you do good, you are your father's child but if you do bad, you belong to your mom😂
◆Just ask stupid question and you'll get stupid answer,e.g Mommy where should I keep the plate; "Put it on my head!"😅
◆And just because you watched an American kid on TV  talk back at his dad or mom doesn't mean you should try that at home...try it and your name will become sorry. If you think am lying, ask Ade.😅
◆Ask your siblings for something and they'll remind you what you did to them last two months, {currently experiencing that right now}😒
◆How can I forget to mention Oga JAMB,been changing destinies since 19something. That was how I got admission to study Plant Breeding and Seed Technology in FUNAAB. In my dad's exact words, "So while your mates will be in the lab doing something meaningful, you'll be in one garden wearing boots and chasing butterfly?"😂😂
◆How can you just sit down and press phone peacefully? In a naija home? Nah.....
Parents be like, "This one you're just sitting down,have you done everything I asked you to do?"
Child:Yes
Parents: Hmm,okay o.{after a few minutes of restlessness} Infact, go and wash the compound! 😞😅
◆Then there was one that always got to me. In my house, if you wanted to go out, you'd have to start taking permission like one or two weeks before. They'd eventually agree, but on the d-day after ironing clothe and dressing up finish, you'll just hear something like, "Where do you think you're going to? My friend will you go and sit down!"😢😭
◆And then all those party till momma calls was definitely not for me. Of course she'd call but not on the phone, in the physical! She didn't mind coming to drag you home from that place. Chai!😖😫😁
I could go on and on but I'd just stop here for now. I would very much like to hear from you about your own Naija experience😀😄 in the comment box.☺
Yours patriotically,
Kikioma